On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

IFI team reports

so ...

IFI team says this:
1. violence is never acceptable
2. they need more data to find out what is triggering Sissy to the point of violence against her sister
3. but as long as Sissy is state medicaid and not straight medicaid, we only get 3 hours/week with IFI team


ROCK - Me - HARD PLACE

The IFI team needs more data but they aren't getting more time to gather that data, violence is never acceptable but Sissy can't be removed from the home based on one episode of violence. If Sissy hurts WG to the point of needing medical attention, I get a CPS report filed on me. If I surrender Sissy to foster care because I believe she's a threat in the home, I get a CPS report filed on me.

there is only ONE way out of this loop hole - get more time with IFI so they can either batten down the hatches on Sissy's triggers OR get enough quantifiable data to prove she's too violent to be in the home.

WE NEED THAT MEDICAID!!!!!

This is the most precarious, stressful, gosh-darned awful place to be in. I'm literally snatching WG out of Sissy's way, every time they are in a room together because I have NO IDEA when Sissy is going to lash out.

and let me tell you, she's been a butt. Startin' crap AGAIN this morning. She won't let me catch a break. I'm exhausted, angry, anxious, this is not fun.

6 comments:

Debbie said...

Praying for Medicaid! I'll continue praying for you all!

GB's Mom said...

I am so sorry that this just gets harder and harder. I am still praying for medicaid. {{Hugs}}

Linda B said...

It's a circle that the "system" keeps spinning on us. We had almost the same options when we were trying to get DQ into out of home placement. There was a point that we were going to let them file on us because our other kids were just too scared to be in the house with her. At the last hour, and I mean hour,(we had a placement ready to accept her that morning) the private insurance said they'd pay for residential. If we had to rely on MA or the county it wouldn't have happened. At the time we didn't worry about it because the damage she was causing our family was worth it. But, now we have a $5000 bill for residential, a $8000 deductable and still no MA. She's back home and returning to old behaviors. The money part is really a strain right now. Can you say collection agency? They just don't make it easy, heck I'd go for not so hard! Good luck with the fed ma-i'm praying for you-

J. said...

I hope the rock has a little give soon becaue that is a crappy place to be stuck! hang in there. Would it be possible to video tape her, like have a camera goin inthe room she is in all the time? Just a thought...

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

That totally stinks. I imagine you probably have, but just in case you haven't (small chance, I know!) Dan Hughes book on Building Attachment in Hurting Children (something like that) really helped us with our daughter. . . and honestly, I shudder to think what our life was like before that, though I will frankly admit that it wasn't near what you are going through.

Lisa said...

Trigger? My son's trigger is the word "NO" so exactly how do you change that? Give in to ridiculous requests/demands so we don't trigger him? My husband made a good point with our case manager the other day (our version of IFI discharged my son because there was nothing they could do with someone who refuses to change - lucky us). He said, "We could fill his pockets with candy and tell him yes to everything to keep him happy and from threatening the other kids, but in what universe would you call that parenting?" HA! She was speechless! I am so tired of being told that if only I had read this particular book (I've read DOZENS, but usually not the one they are currently referencing) everything would be better. If I just let him be a kid and stopped dwelling on the negative (how will I ever have the time to "dwell" on the negative when I'm trying to restrain a raging 16 yo and keep the other kids safe?) he would behave more positive every single day. Fools - all of 'em. I wish they'd just be honest and say, "Nope, we don't know nothin', we're just making educated guesses here and odds are - we're probably wrong". The focus now is insurance and YOU. If you did everything they say (parenting-wise) and had great insurance that paid for everything they say she needs - and Sissy still got worse - what then? I know, they'd say you must not be following their directions properly.