On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Friday, March 5, 2010

I know, I know

I had every intention of doing the adoption stories posts but it has been crazy here trying to get the ducks lined up for Sissy's return. I managed to convince the RTC that I could work today and get her Saturday morning with the IFI team meeting us at the house by 4 pm.

I still have housework and bills to do, a behavior contract to make (and get approved by the IFI team)[1] and I want a few minutes to myself before I go to sleep and make the bloomin' six hour round trip once more. May I be fortunate enough to avoid this trip for a very long time. Death and loathing to I20 in GA, exits 190-36 and back again!

On the school front, the 504 coordinator said that the law is set up so that if a student is not exhibiting their extreme behavior issues during the class day, whether they have an emotional/behavioral illness or not, an IEP can not be written. If Sissy was cognitively impaired, that would be another issue altogether. But gosh darn it, the sweet little bumpkin is smart.

So, I told her teacher "off the record", "don't be nice. No second chances, no honeymoon, none of it. Expect from Sissy EXACTLY what you'd academically and behaviorally expect of the average, mentally and emotionally stable fourth grade student."

She was also unaware of the law and was equally astounded. Thankfully, having 10 years in mental health, she's familiar with our problematic RADishes and is on board with my "trigger at will" plan. With any luck, Sissy's resolve will be broken by her sheer frustration and exhaustion in keeping up with her lies and she'll act out. I told the teacher, "when she acts up, document like crazy. Put it all down on paper. use strong language like, 'i'm professionally inadequate to meet this child's emotional and behavioral needs' or 'i'm concerned for the safety of my other students' and best yet, 'i'm feeling unsafe with this student in my classroom.'"

Then I told the asst. principal, "if I get behaviors from her in the car rider lane, I'm parking my van and walking back into the building. period." The thinking is, if I haven't left the school grounds, any behaviors she exhibits while on school property during a school day (from drop off to dismissal) it's a school related behavior issue. Asst. Principal is on board and has even come up with a plan for that - make all three children wait in their respective classrooms to be dismissed only when I arrive and contact the office. I'm glad for this plan for Aspie Boy's sake alone. He has a lot of trouble at the car rider lane.

And, that said, I WILL write the adoption story posts but it might need to wait until next week when the insanity has slowed to a dull roar.

Since I got so much feedback about my tree beating behaviors and the squirrel stew, here are my Lob-lolly pines replete with the squirrel nest. I took the pictures today while laying on the trampoline, rotating clockwise. (the squirrel nest is the big black blob halfway up a tree in pictures 1 and 5)

There, you see? I didn't lie. I have a lot of these hideous trees. And you should see the tree litter they drop year round! My backyard is perennially covered in the refuse of these blasted Lob-lollies. The Dad has to shimmy up a ladder to blow the straw off the roof four times a year. Grass? what grass? Grow a vegetable garden? In loamy soil created by these gosh dern pines? I don't think so. It's box and pot gardening for me.

[1]i'll post my behavior contract when it's complete for those who'd like to use it as a template for their own RADishes.

1 comment:

Linda B said...

I would love to see the behavior contract. It surprised me that no one asked me to write one up for DQ when she was discharged. I went ahead and did it anyway and had them go over it with her. What a smart idea about still being on school property even in the van. I never thought of that. The adoption stories-I'm always interested in reading other's stories. I haven't written about ours yet and I've been blogging a couple years. I am impressed that you will get to them next week! Good luck with your road trip!