IFI team comes and bottom line, we need to change our parenting... again.
because as she said, if we don't follow their suggestions, then if there is a violence escalation and the cops are called they'll ask IFI team what are the PARENTS doing and the IFI team will say, 'well, actually, the parents have not taken our suggestions"
and then there was the "you've had lots of therapy and education in the past but you've never had an IFI team in your home"
to which I said, "yeah, but we need more time, 3 hours a week isn't enough"
to which she said, "it's a matter of insurance"
yep. because ultimately, it's still our fault.
even if i know it's not.
because she's an impaired child
because we're not trained professionals
and because we don't have insurance that gets us more time
and because my two years of behavior mod therapy didn't help RAD
and because the books that I've read I've either misunderstood or the IFI team doesn't support (we had a back and forth discussion about what I've read as it is incongruent with what she said)
and yes, now I'm officially a blubbering idiot, in a heap of tears. Forget the anger, I'm at despair.
how many times do I need to change my parenting styles when ultimately, I don't believe any of it will matter?