On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What in blue blazes?

First, my rant for the day, thanks for indulging me.

The school got a copy of the RTC pscych eval and school records last week. I know this for a fact. First, the records dept. at RTC called me. "Mrs. S, we're faxing to your county now." Then the county records dept called me. "Mrs. S, we have RTC records now, we're forwarding to 504 coordinator." Then 504 coordinator called me, "Mrs. S, I am reading over the records as we speak."

agreed? records have been transmitted, yes?

The 504 coordinator calls me later and starts talking smack about Sissy being Asperger's. Then the school calls me and starts talking about Asperger's. Then the IFI team comes to the house and is talking Asperger's. And then it hit me. D@mn. They've all seen those records and I haven't. How much you wanna bet after all was said and done, the RTC listed her as Asperger's when they told us they weren't going to? Then I said, "d@mn, d@mn! I'm gonna show up to that RTI meeting on Wednesday at the school and everyone at that meeting is gonna know crap about my kid that I don't know!" Because here's the kicker. If I want Sissy's records, I have to pay. But if I want her records released to an agency, I don't.

So I called IFI team. "Hey, when you come Tuesday, can you bring your copy of the records? i haven't seen them yet and I don't want to be blind sided at the RTI meeting."

"sure, sure, I'll get them to you."

Then I get a message this morning from IFI team, "mrs. S, we don't have records yet. So we called RTC and they said they haven't been finished yet, that they're still working on them and it might not be until next week. And furthermore, they said we can't let you see them, you'll have to get your own copy."

OH HELL NO. I don't think so.

"Mrs IFI team chicka, county got records LAST THURSDAY."

"HuH? I better call them back."

"please do. I'm not going to a meeting so i can be eaten alive."

"Sure, I understand but you'll still have to get your own copy. and according to them, they won't be ready until next week."

"just call me later when you know something." *click*

*bang head on wall*

Am i missing something? Someone please tell me where I've gone wrong in this equation so I can fix this error. OMG! What in blue blazes is all this crap?!?

I'm beginning to rethink having placed Sissy in RTC. At this point, the only benefit was getting respite for the four of us at home and seriously, it wasn't much respite what with 6 trips a month, therapy sessions, 3 phone calls a week ...

We specifically asked the therapist two weeks ago in phone conference (so hubby can vouch for me) if they were going to formally diagnose a developmental delay. We also asked if a dual diagnosis benefits or harms Sissy's ability to get services. I reminded her for the umpteenth time that RAD kids very frequently get misdiagnosed as spectral but that Sissy's 4 Gillian-Asperger quotient scores and 3 Vineland scores in her records from the last 5 years of psych evals put her just on the outside of diagnosable, even for PDD-NOS. Therapist said she'd talk to the psychiatrist and get back to me in our phone conference with the treatment team last Tuesday. But last Tuesday the psychiatrist was sick and the "treatment team' ended up being only the "education team" who was all about calling Sissy an Asperger kid. The Dad called the out - "uh, are you guys PHYSICIANS as well as educators? Because as far as we know, Sissy's not been diagnosed Asperger's...."

I'm going to scream. 100 days at an RTC and they are rewriting her diagnoses? Seriously? What the heck do those phantom records say anyway? no one knows. Some people say they've seen them, the IFI team tells me they don't exist yet ... Do the 9 years of psychometric tests I've filled out before placement mean nothing? The two years of behavior mod weekly therapy with trained professoinals that work with spectral kids every day having NEVER said, "we think she's aspergers", the seven months of bimonthly psychiatry visits before placement, none of it matters? I made sure all of it was forwarded to RTC. Including the RAD therapists notes that Sissy had 48 out of 50 on the RADQ and that RADs is typically misdiagnosed as spectral.

OK. So if you're going to read my blog, then at least learn from me.
#1 - RTC for RAD kids is useless. It's a vacation for the traumatized family. Get them placed? Book a cruise. Seriously. You think I'm joking, I'm not.
#2 - Don't let RTC bully you into all the d@mn therapy appointments. you need respite and they're not reporting you to child protective services if you don't participate the way they want you to
#3 - get a treatment plan in writing. on the day of admissions. Do not leave until they hand you a treatment plan for your child
#4 - do not forward documents to the RTC from your child's physicians at home beyond the admitting forms from the attending physician.
#5 - do not sign releases of records from the RTC to other agencies when your child is discharged with the exception of medication documents and grades as applicable
#6 - stand your ground. If you're in double jeopardy (criminal record if you refuse to take your kid back and criminal record if your kid is returned to you and s/he hurts a family member and you failed to protect) then stand your ground. Don't let them bully you. No matter what, no matter who, YOU ARE IN CHARGE. PERIOD.

until the nice young men in coats come hauling your @ss to a pysch facility too, YOU ARE IN CHARGE. YOU ALONE KNOW YOUR KID. YOU.

If the rest of the nanny goats and billy goats want to butt heads with each other, let them at it. They can get the migraines. Only YOU have to go home to your kid at night, turn on an alarm and pray to God it isn't set off at 3 am.


GB's Mom said...

Nice rant! I would be ranting too. I would call the RTC and ask them for a copy of the records that have already been sent to the county. Unless the answer is an immediate "Of course" (LOL), I would then, tell them I was hiring a lawyer to figure out how records that weren't done yet had already been released to the county and to help you figure out what the next step in litigation is. Be sure to get name and title of the person your speaking to. It's fine to sound pissed, but you can't rant to them. Good luck. You can always come back to your blog and rant.

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Holy Crap!!!!!! Does your state have a disabily Law Center? It may be worth it to check and see what free legal services can smooth the way...sometimes just being able to say the L Word helps....(That would be L as in Lawyer NOT Lesbian like the HBO show, the L Word!!!!!Tee Hee)

Frank and said...

Oh you need more than cyber hugs for sure ... but that ((( hugs ))) and prayers is what I can offer! Gosh what will be next! Take as good care as you can! Maria (Canada)

marythemom said...

Ooh I've so been there and sooo agree. RTCs are useless for RAD kids and using them as respite is not an option. Our RTC was only a 30 minute drive away, but when it came to things like taking our son into the city to a minor emergency center (we were literally eating dinner next door to the emergency center!) we didn't find out until 24 hours after he went.

But we had to talk to him on the phone 2 or more times a week (he usually manipulated staff for more time), we had to be there for multiple meetings, we had to attend the useless family therapy AND visit every weekend. We were never truly away from him long enough to recover from our PTSD, but that didn't matter to the RTC.

We'd only known him for 5 months before he went to RTC, he has RAD, and the therapist was NOT an attachment therapist AND was patronizing and tried to blame our 14 year old's problems on us - did I mention we'd only met him 5 months before?! While our daughter was in RTC she mysteriously didn't exhibit any of the behaviors we were dealing with at home... because she had RAD and THEY weren't her parents!

The only good thing about RTC was they finally got him properly diagnosed (he had undiagnosed bipolar disorder) and got him on a pretty good med cocktail.

I got the DHS (he was still a ward of the state) to give me copies of the reports so I didn't have to pay the psychiatrist for them, but we also had major issues getting the reports completed by the RTC and submitted to the right people.

We just wanted to be done with it all so we took them home anyway.

Mary in TX