On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

pH meter says "DANGER!"

Text msg sent to Sissy's therapist this morning:
The Dad and I need to talk. Sissy not good. Doing weird things since school. Worried about pushing her mind 2 far. Don't want to repeat last fall. We're stressed. Waving a red flag!

Sissy did OK all summer because there were no demands on her. Now, four weeks into the school year, we are watching her mind unravel like a skein of yarn. She's had several crisis calls, a threat of violence against The Dad and me, morning and evening escalations have returned ...

At what point does the school finally recognize that just because a child is academically capable of doing grade-level work that it doesn't mean she is emotionally capable? At what point of psychoses does the team say "yeah, Sissy is not OK in the home?" At what point do the parents have to get to in their own level of stress before someone notices our white flag of surrender because it's too much, because no parent should be expected to maintain this level of therapeutic parenting ad nauseum? Sissy is NOT ok in a home environment IF she's going to be expected to be in a standard school environment. And even then, it's too much to manage her 24/7. The psychoses, despite the meds, are stealing her one little bit at a time. Currently, I'd say no one in our family has "quality of life". Again.

The Dad and I have set the timer, we predict full blown manic, psychoses, suicidal ideation and homicidal rage within 6-8 weeks if the therapists, educators and physician don't start listening to our VERY LOUD BARKING that Sissy is NOT OK. That WE'RE NOT OK managing her. That is is TOO MUCH. It's just too much.

Scariest thing in the world, watching your child's mind dissolve right before your eyes ...


Cyndi said...

It might be time to rewrite her IEP and slow everything down to a snails pace. We ask ourselves those same questions about when is enough enough with our daughter too. No one gives us very clear direction on any of this. People can not live like this long term and be healthy. Lots of extra prayers for all of you.

GB's Mom said...

It IS the scariest thing in the world! I hope they start listening. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I know.