At discharge on Friday, the psych nurse said that if Sissy returned to her dangerous behaviors that we should bring her back. Here's the time line of events:
Friday night she told us she was afraid she would hurt someone. We sent her to bed so she could sleep it off.
Saturday she was disregulated all day. I called it "poking." She would ask questions or say things deliberately to get a negative response. I had a chat and said "stop poking. If you know the answer to your question already and you know that answer will make you mad, then don't ask it. You're poking us. You're trying to make us mad when YOU'RE the one that's mad, not me."
I also had her repeat this phrase many times, "mom and dad aren't trying to make me mad. They are doing what's best for me."
It didn't help. She was off and on raging and provoking all day.
Sunday morning we informed her that she would not be attending church. (backstory - they changed the sunday school format and we were concerned about how she would do in that new format so initially we told her she would just sit in grown-up sunday school with us. But The Dad woke up ill so we just opted to let her stay home with him)
RAGE. She was livid. Called the crisis team. On call guy said that if she was that disregulated after discharge, she didn't get the medical care she needed while in the hospital and needed to go back. Call 911 and have her readmitted.
So we did. And Sissy got aggressive with the officer. And we rode in the ambulance (i was with her this time so no chatty cathy manipulation) and we sat in the ER for hours and hours and hours.
From the time of the call to the time of discharge, 8 hours wasted. Attending psychiatrist said she did not meet the criteria for placement and furthermore, they did not have anything to medically treat while she was with them last week. So they sent her home.
An hour after discharge she was raging again because I told her to shower when she wanted a bubble bath. At the approval of her therapist (who we called... again) I gave Sissy a benadryl and sent her to bed.
For the record, I did EXACTLY as I was told by professionals guiding her care. I got a big fat goose egg.
IEP meeting this morning at 8 am - we must assess to prove she needs an IEP. We have to quantitatively document that she needs extra support BECAUSE with the exception of her classroom math grade (66%), Sissy scores above standard on all her benchmarks. READ: she does not demonstrate an academic need for an IEP. So we have to prove that she needs an IEP for social, emotional and behavioral.
AGAIN, for the record, I have done EXACTLY as I was told by the professionals guiding her academics. I got a big fat goose egg. If we can't prove that her social, emotional and behavioral issues impede her ability to learn, we get nothing.
And WHEN I slept last night, i dreamt that Sissy was trying to kill us.  All.Night.Long.
THIS is how mothers snap.
THIS is how families get killed and burned by one raging family member.
THIS is what generates all of those "riveting" stories for lifetime movie network.
God in heaven, I do NOT want to be a lifetime movie special. Or dead. Or both.
How many times does a ram butt his head before he suffers brain damage and dies?
on medication: it was asked several times by several different professionals yesterday if Sissy was dosing her meds, was I CERTAIN she was ingesting them. Answer: I ALWAYS supervise her medicating. I had already thought of that and asked her point blank. I know when Sissy's lying. She wasn't lying when she told me that yes, she takes her meds. Then i asked her another three times. And made her prove it to me last night and this morning. Yes. She's taking her meds.
I had a dream I'll be sharing tomorrow. But it's interesting to note that Sissy reported dreaming that she'd been eaten by an anaconda - said she woke up before she died her dream. I like to research dream symbols. Snakes in jungian psychology represent "dark, incomprehensible and mysterious aspects of the self that must be confronted." (that and withholding one's bowels in Jungian psychology means "pent up rage") Uh, DUH! Sissy is quite literally being swallowed by her self conscious thoughts that she refuses to confront because she is holding in all her rage. Geez. The psychology of it is quite clear. Now how do we FIX it?