On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Good morning, do you know what your RADish is doing?

My RADish was sabbotaging herself.


She expired her three days of lovely. Now we begin the 15 day escalation to full on rage.

She started it at 7:25 am screaming and waking up the whole house, "I have to use the restroom!" (she knows that unless it's a school day, we stay in our room until 8:00 and she can't escape unknowingly because it'll trigger the alarm.)

you might argue that the child should be allowed the natural, humane right to urinate. Except that she was able to hold her pee until 8:00. And she wasn't running to the toilet. More like sauntering nonchalantly. Dead ringer for how can I make everyone miserable?

Then the lying.

Followed by the manipulations.

And the bargaining that she'd do what we wanted when we did what SHE wanted.

then the screaming.

Oh, the screaming.

Aspie Boy came in from outdoors. "MOM! You can hear her all the way outside!"

Which made Sissy scream louder.

9:00 a.m.

This after last night's rousing and excited discussion with Sissy that she was just one day of good behaviors away from getting a "green level" status for the week.

And that was where I went wrong.

In what universe is it BAD for a parent to encourage and cheer on a child toward success and a prize?

In the RAD universe.

Silly me, I thought I was on planet Earth last night. I was laboring under the delusion that our celestial sphere orbits the SUN and not Sissy. She gave me a rousing reminder. My ears are still ringing.


GB's Mom said...

Bet you won't make that mistake again. LOL Have you tried the ear plugs they sell to use on planes?

noniquilter said...

Oh Jennie, I'm soooooo... sorry. Sissy's sabotaging behavior is soooo reminisent? of birth mother's behavior. And you're right you CANNOT LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE INCHES AWAY FROM VICTORY AT ANY TIME. That is cause for instant sabotaging behavior every time. Hard lesson learned I know but it's soooo hard not to want to encourage them toward possible victory because WE DO LOVE THEM AND WANT THEM TO SUCCEED. Anyway I will pray right now that Sissy will stop meyhem right now and that Jesus in His love for all of you would shorten her escalation period to hours instead of days. You are right in that our only hope is in Jesus our Savior and Lord. Without Him nothing is possible but with Him ALL things are possible. Sending Hugs and love your way always,

MomInTheTrench said...

Yes. How dare you encourage her. We do door alarms, same thing. Some people put a bucket in the bedroom for emergencies. I tried it once, but it just gave my son something to hold the urine while he played in it. Others, I hear though, have had success with that.

Corey said...

On the outwit, outplay, outlast note (cuz we are always on Surviver mode Chez Waters) we bought a camping toilet from Wal-Mart for I want to say about $25, and a big bowl from Goodwill for 75 cents that fits under it. If you can't hold it till it's time to get up, you have a place to pee, but it's your job to empty & clean the bowl.

BTW, I can NEVER tell Vivi she is doing a good job. Or a bad job. If I make any comment at all, she will immediately tank. The fact that I exist is just a thorn in her side.

FosterAbba said...

Sometimes, I encourage my kid to be rotten, simply so that I will have the joy of punishing her.

And sometimes, the reverse psychology works.

Jules said...

Maybe you could try using an ipod when she's freaking out like that?