On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Thursday, February 18, 2010

we need more time

it all comes down to money

but we really need more time.
Sissy needs more time.

The RTC therapist believes that a weekend TL will buy us that time. The objective is to bring Sissy home for the weekend, see how she does (which will be poor, duh) so we can report her progress to the therapist who will report it to insurance who will decide if it's enough to put Sissy in the "meets criteria for in patient care" category.

It's a crap shoot at best but the therapist said based on Sissy's behaviors in the RTC this past week alone, her report to insurance will get us more time. This overnight TL will just be the icing on the cake, so to speak. But since insurance, when asked flat out, "what are the criteria for in patient care?" has this response, "I can't give you the answer to that question ma'am, but I can find out the answer for you when she's discharged" i think it's safe to assume that no matter what I do, the giant machine called state budget for mental health will win. Because let's face it, it's all about that bottom line and my low-income kid on state insurance is costing taxpayers money. $8,500 a month's worth.

Some days I want to march up to the type of people on this planet that spend $500,000 to clone their dead dogs and punch them square in the face. Not, "hi, how are you, *SMACK*" just


and then casually walk away, whistling with my hands in my pockets like I didn't do nothing at all. You know, like a RAD kid would.

Here's to 12 hours of driving, spending $100 for gas instead of groceries and 36 hours with Sissy in my house again, sleeping in the living room behind a curtain made of bed sheets and screaming at me when I tell her it's time to bathe and brush her teeth. Then throwing away the food I prepare for her because of course, I feed my family poison, Wonder Girl's been on chelation since birth, her kidneys are shot, don't you know because I'm such a hideous parent. Oh, and the growling and glaring and tossing of hairbrushes at my face because I asked her to brush her hair. Heh, i just had a thought. Maybe this weekend she'll need a haircut. (Staff at the RTC has complained of Sissy's annoying tendencies to disregard her Personal Hygiene, especially managing her mane) Well, I think a haircut can be managed, by golly. Fussing at Aspie Boy, petting and baby talking to Wonder Girl, whining about playing outside, on the trampoline of all things. Really, I should be imprisoned.

I'm not looking forward to this. It's too soon. We were just getting better at home.


GB's Mom said...

If I had thought about the kind of weekend you were going to have, I would have saved the Meanest Mom Award for you. I wasn't thinking, I apologize, I kept it for myself ;-(

Money makes the world go round, but I probably wouldn't be as direct as you. I think I am a passive-aggressive, as opposed to a RAD, so I would probably do something like put sand in his Mercedes.

I am praying for you and your family to get through the weekend. Sissy will probably take care of the insurance company herself. A haircut sounds like a great idea- I bet you she'll look cute!

waldenbunch said...

Before my Brit went into RTC, the sicker and more aggressive she got the more I cut her hair. And yeah, it felt good. Any 14 year old that gets a hairbrush caught in her hair that I have to cut out surely needs a short "do."

Jeri said...

Jennie, I am so, so sorry that it comes down to dang dollars and not sense! Praying that you guys get the extension you all need. You might want to take some video for evidence.

J. said...

hope that the weekend goes ok ( whatever that means), hang in there and stock up on Mom treats ( whatever works for you) before you go to get her.

Lisa said...

just keep breathing and repeating to yourself, "I can do anything for 36 hours, she'll be sleeping for part of that time anyway". My 15 yo (almost 16) RAD child is standing in my dining room right now (has been since 6:23 am) in his boxer shorts staring at the rest of the kids watching Arthur in the living room. No school today - he won't go back to bed (it's too boring in my room), won't leave our sight (he might miss something), won't shower or get dressed - just standing there defiantly in his UNDERWEAR. We are in MI and my house is 60 degrees right now (our heating bill is EXTREMELY high and we're trying to save money for luxury items like food and water). Everyone else is dressed warmly - DRESSED, bathed, teeth brushed, etc. - not him, he doesn't have to listen to nobody - it's going to be a long 4 days (mid-winter break - yeah, I'd like to punch the genius who came up with this little vacation).

It's all about money. When my son was in a psychiatric hospital, they charged $1200 PER DAY (17 days) and the state paid it, but the RTC that cost $250/day - nope, not enough funds - only the "really" bad kids can get sent there - unless they murder, then we'll bypass the rtc completely and just send them to jail, which is funded by a different governmental dept. It all boils down to money and whose budget is going to be required to pay for it. Our community mental health dept. REFUSES to recommend rtc for anyone, no matter what the issues, because if they recommend it, they have to pay for it (ethical? nah, they're not worried about no stinkin' ethics, just the budget).

Do a sweep of the house, and put up any throw-able objects (lol) - oh yeah, and breathe!!