On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


See, I read Nancy Thomas' stuff. I've watched her videos. I could probably substitute teach her workshops for her when she's sick. But there are a few things she says right from the start that I haven't been putting into practice in my daily life.

The number one thing she recommends to parents that are new to RAD parenting[1]:
sleep. 10-12 hours/day for two weeks prior to taking a new RAD child into your home.
That's what Nancy recommends. That's the one thing I haven't been doing. Because I'm sure, like me, all of my other wonderful RAD mommies out there are prone to burn the midnight oil long and hard and as often as possible. Seriously, God went wrong there with the 24 hour day thing. 36 hours would have been better. Right? RIGHT?!? (come on, just nod your head and agree with me so I dont' feel like an idiot.)

I just pretended that Nancy Thomas didn't say the 10 hour sleep thing. I purposedly put it out of my head because that's a lot of sleep. But lately I've been feeling it, I have been crashing and burning, sacking out at the drop of a hat, cutting some major logs with my snoring (you know that Logger reality show? they could put me to good use! lol) Last night I sat in the recliner at 9 pm and ... zonk. out cold. Woke up at 12, climbed into my bed still in my clothes and ... zonk until the alarm went off. Then I slammed the snooze for another 40 minutes. When i finally slogged out of bed like a 20 year old slug, i tallied it up. 10 hours. I slept 10 hours!!!

*beams at self*

So, OK. Sleep is good. I recommend it.

[1] Sissy was diagnosed RAD when she was 15 months old and we've had custody since she was 11 months old but we consider ourselves "new to RAD parenting" because until September, every other approach we took with her doctors, therapies and meds did NOT directly deal with her RADs.


Lisa said...

This comment has NOTHING to do with your post (I haven't even read it yet - sorry). I found your blog thru Cindys at Big Momma Hollers and noticed your comment today about thyroid disease. I just had my thyroid removed in Oct. and am on synthyroid (the generic version). Do you take that as well as the 5HTP? I have been feeling like crap (the exhaustion and anxiety are overwhelming me) and not getting anywhere very quickly with my family dr. so any advice you could give me would be so...appreciated. I know NO ONE going thru this. I am an adoptive mom of 6 and bio-mom of 4 (5-23 yrs) and have many of the same issues as Cindy and you describe what with all of the alphabet soup dx's and unrelenting insanity that we live with. It's hard to tell what is just "normal" depression and anxiety from the kids and what might be the thyroid issues making things worse. My BP was always very low all my life and now it's way...too high (170/90). When my kids get going I shudder to think how much higher it's rising - I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. Anyway, write me at greenelisam@gmail.com if you want - I'd greatly appreciate it!

marythemom said...

Sleep?! Sleep?! We don't need no stinkin' sleep!

Ok, I desperately need sleep, but that will only happen in a perfect world. *sigh*

Seriously though, when you mentioned a 36 hour day my hiney cringed. I know that would mean 34 hours a day of dealing with my kids. I can't handle even the though of that.

Still, sleep would be good.

Mary in TX

Dia por Dia said...

I could jump on board with the 36 hour day IF it had about 16 hours of sleep. Seriously though, I have always been a night owl and "easily" functioned with very little sleep which helped alot when I only had 1 child with RAD. Then I added 3 kids in one year (don't ask) (1 more with RAD, a toddler and an infant) and I dreamt about sleep in the few hours I was able to manage. Since then I have made a commitment to sleep more (not at the 10-12) but enough so that I feel well rested most mornings. What I difference! I highly recommend it!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Sleep is soooo importnat - and often the first thing to go in my house. By the time the older kids are down and I have had a chance to sit down it is almost 10 and then I need to check the blogs I follow and by then it is 11 and then if I write my own post it is 12 and I'm in bed for the night. The next thing you know it is 4:30 am and Baby Dee wants a bottle or it is 6 am and time for the kids to get to school. YIKES. A 36 hour day would be sweet, but I am afraid I would just blog more and not use it for sleep.

Corey said...

I *make* myself get 9 hours a day. In bed by 9:30 or 10, up at 6:30. I might not be "new" to RAD parenting, but I continue to be completely exhausted by it.