On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Friday, July 15, 2011


LONG rage day with Sissy yesterday. Started when one therapist left and ended when the next therapist arrived, four and a half hours later.

LONG round table discussion with the IFI supervisor on Sissy's case. Our options are few and none are favorable.

This is the email she sent to the core provider that can help us get PRTF:
Core Provider Representative,
I was with Sissy's family last night and though we are currently
waiting for your agency to provide wrap around services, I believe that it is unavoidable that Sissy return to PRTF.

She is having 3-5 rages per week. These will last from 2hrs to all day.
Yesterday was all day. she screams non-stop, and when a parent tries to speak with her she begins screaming about all of the injustices she
perceives have occurred against her.

As I have come to know this family and Sissy better I do not believe
there is anything we can do to stop these rages.

Can you please advise about how we can get her back into PRTF?

It has been so refreshing to work with a team that finally, thank god almighty - FINALLY, understands Sissy. She is, as we have said, emotionally retarded. She will NOT recover. She WILL drag our family down, it is an inevitability. We've been hearing it for six months now from agencies, the hospital and therapists: move or relinquish. Neither are viable options for various reasons. Getting Sissy back in PRTF buys us time to find a viable option.

Do I want my daughter back in the hospital? Does ANY mother want that for her daughter? In this instance, to save Sissy, to save our family, yes, I want her back in the hospital.

I laugh alot because if I don't I will cry. That one small girl could be so irrevocably damaged is staggering to contemplate.


Anonymous said...

If Sissy were blind, you wouldn't have a team that kept trying and trying to make her see; it's the same attitude. I'm glad you have a team now that accepts that there's NO POINT in any course but the one you're taking. Best of luck, I'm praying for you.

Debora said...

It IS staggering to comtemplate. I am so sorry for Sissy and for you and your family, too. I will continue to pray for you all. ((HUGS))

Our eldest is due to come home from RTC in a week and a half. She seems to be doing better (at least from what I've seen in family therapy)...but I admit I waffle between hope for her doing well here and dread of what will happen. Why did these children's bio families so damage them? It's so sad.

Sammie said...

Crying right along with you. Alex went to his group home on Monday, I don't think he understands that its permanent. It breaks my heart to place him, as unlike Sissy he can be a really sweet kid, but also a very aggresive one who requires constant one on one supervision. Hopefully for us we will come to a balance where he can come home some weekends and I can enjoy him, and not feel only stress.So glad to feel you finaly have a team that "gets it", that in itself is very stress reducing.

Elizabeth-Anne said...

SOOOOO glad to hear that FINALLY professionals are reiterating to higher ups what you already know! Praying for you always, and, seriously, I TOTALLY recommend that you read Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child" for no other reason than empathy. He is a psychologist who has worked with tons of kids and he has a case study like Sissy's in the book, and I so completely think that you would benefit from hearing his compassion toward the parents who have tried EVERYTHING but realize that an institution is the only option left (of course, he has other words for other cases, but a whole chapter is devoted to knowing when to let go). Love you!