Some days with Sissy are ... interesting.
That is to say, many times she opens her mouth and something comes out of it and we have one of two reactions:
She doesn't usually catch on to response #1 but response #2 makes her angry. Unfortunately, response #2 is the one that happens the most because yowee, zowee, she says some crazy crap. Next to the definition of "narcissist" in the dictionary is Sissy's picture. And speaking of dictionaries and Sissy...
CRAZY TALK #1:
Last week Sissy was arguing with The Dad about the difference between a want and a need. The Dad deferred to the dictionary. He was trying to make the point that Sissy perceives her wants as needs and that she can't have everything she wants even if she thinks she NEEDS it.
The definition of the word "want" was read aloud which was followed by Sissy's anger.
"WHAT!" she fumed. "That's not the right definition!"
The Dad patiently said, "it's in the dictionary. What other definition should there be for the word 'want'?"
And Sissy thinking herself so clever, blustered and blurted, "WELL! That's not MY definition of that word!"
Ever so gently The Dad said, "So... you're smarter than the dictionary now?"
This scenario garnered Response #1 and #2 because "huh? my 10 year old thinks she has better definitions than a dictionary?" was followed by "OMG! That's HYSTERICAL! She REALLY believes the dictionary is wrong and SHE is right!"
Really. she believes the dictionary is wrong.
I mean, what do you even SAY to that?!?
CRAZY TALK #2
Sissy was looking at her cat calendar, flipping through the pictures. "Mom? Are these pictures of REAL cats?
Response #1 followed by my best deadpan facial expression and monotone voice, "no. they're robot cats made to look like the real ones."
"Really?!" she replied, then to herself, "wow, they look so real."
CRAZY TALK #3
Sissy had to create a poster for Girl Scouts that was to depict things that inspired her, were interesting to her, made her want to be a better person and things she was hoping to achieve or do when she grew up.
Sissy was excited about the assignment and began cutting out and coloring pictures of the Chippettes. Then she cut up her favorite outfits out of the American Girl doll magazine. Then she cut up her Harry Potter poster mag to plaster the remaining space on the poster (which was 2/3 of it) with a blow up of Harry himself.
All along I kept reminding Sissy of the assignment tasks and directives. But when she was prepared to glue the giant Harry head onto her poster I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop. Why is Harry Potter on that poster?"
"Do you want to be Harry Potter when you grow up?"
"no. I want to be a famous figure skater."
response #1 (she's been on ice skates ONCE. ONCE!!!!)
Not picking up on the facial expression I made for Response #1, she continued. "And a famous actress and a famous ballerina and a famous gymnast and..."
I interrupted. "You still haven't told me why Harry Potter is on your poster!"
*glare of death*
Response #2 (because seriously, her glare of death is hysterical)
and this discussion immediately segued into
CRAZY TALK #4
"And mom! Mom. Look what I can do!" Sissy jumped up and proceeded to take her left thumb and bend it back to her wrist. "isn't that amazing! I just learned how to do that today. I never knew I could do that! I saw someone at lunch doing it and then I discovered I could do it too!!!!"
Leaning in across the table with a crazed look in her eyes, "Seriously mom! This is SO cool. I'm going to be famous. I'm going to go on TV and show people i can do this because if I just learned about it today, think of all the people all over the world that still don't know about this! And I WILL SHOW THEM!"
followed by the rare response #3: head/desk (I don't do this one often because I'm not fond of headaches).
All that to say, I'm not saying she's stupid, I'm just sayin'
Because, yeah. She'll be 11 in December... 11 going on high-as-a-kite-clueless-and-manic.