On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Sunday, November 7, 2010

wacky words

Some days with Sissy are ... interesting.

That is to say, many times she opens her mouth and something comes out of it and we have one of two reactions:
1. Huh?

She doesn't usually catch on to response #1 but response #2 makes her angry. Unfortunately, response #2 is the one that happens the most because yowee, zowee, she says some crazy crap.  Next to the definition of "narcissist" in the dictionary is Sissy's picture.  And speaking of dictionaries and Sissy...

Last week Sissy was arguing with The Dad about the difference between a want and a need. The Dad deferred to the dictionary. He was trying to make the point that Sissy perceives her wants as needs and that she can't have everything she wants even if she thinks she NEEDS it.

The definition of the word "want" was read aloud which was followed by Sissy's anger.

"WHAT!" she fumed. "That's not the right definition!"

The Dad patiently said, "it's in the dictionary. What other definition should there be for the word 'want'?"

And Sissy thinking herself so clever, blustered and blurted, "WELL! That's not MY definition of that word!"

Ever so gently The Dad said, "So... you're smarter than the dictionary now?"

This scenario garnered Response #1 and #2 because "huh? my 10 year old thinks she has better definitions than a dictionary?" was followed by "OMG! That's HYSTERICAL! She REALLY believes the dictionary is wrong and SHE is right!"

Really.  she believes the dictionary is wrong.  

I mean, what do you even SAY to that?!?

Sissy was looking at her cat calendar, flipping through the pictures. "Mom? Are these pictures of REAL cats?

Response #1 followed by my best deadpan facial expression and monotone voice, "no. they're robot cats made to look like the real ones."

"Really?!" she replied, then to herself, "wow, they look so real."

Response #2

Sissy had to create a poster for Girl Scouts that was to depict things that inspired her, were interesting to her, made her want to be a better person and things she was hoping to achieve or do when she grew up.

Sissy was excited about the assignment and began cutting out and coloring pictures of the Chippettes. Then she cut up her favorite outfits out of the American Girl doll magazine. Then she cut up her Harry Potter poster mag to plaster the remaining space on the poster (which was 2/3 of it) with a blow up of Harry himself.

All along I kept reminding Sissy of the assignment tasks and directives. But when she was prepared to glue the giant Harry head onto her poster I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop. Why is Harry Potter on that poster?"


"Do you want to be Harry Potter when you grow up?"

"no. I want to be a famous figure skater."

response #1 (she's been on ice skates ONCE. ONCE!!!!)

Not picking up on the facial expression I made for Response #1, she continued. "And a famous actress and a famous ballerina and a famous gymnast and..."

I interrupted. "You still haven't told me why Harry Potter is on your poster!"

*glare of death*

Response #2 (because seriously, her glare of death is hysterical)

and this discussion immediately segued into

"And mom! Mom. Look what I can do!" Sissy jumped up and proceeded to take her left thumb and bend it back to her wrist. "isn't that amazing! I just learned how to do that today. I never knew I could do that! I saw someone at lunch doing it and then I discovered I could do it too!!!!"

response #1

Leaning in across the table with a crazed look in her eyes, "Seriously mom! This is SO cool. I'm going to be famous. I'm going to go on TV and show people i can do this because if I just learned about it today, think of all the people all over the world that still don't know about this! And I WILL SHOW THEM!"

response #2

followed by the rare response #3: head/desk (I don't do this one often because I'm not fond of headaches).

All that to say, I'm not saying she's stupid, I'm just sayin'

Because, yeah. She'll be 11 in December... 11 going on high-as-a-kite-clueless-and-manic.


Lisa said...

Haha! Sounds like some of the interactions we have around here. My almost 18 yo was talking about a youth challenge program she wanted to attend after she's 18 (her b-day is in Apr). I told her she'd be finishing up the program a year from now - actually, about a year and a month from now if she goes to the next session. She started shaking her head like I was the imbecile (not that she is - but just sayin'....) and says, "The program starts in JULY and it's only 6 mos". I did the #1 for a second and then immediately went to #2 saying, "Go get a calendar honey!". My first thought as she stormed off (probably to prove me wrong with a calendar) was the validity of any program that would take her if she still doesn't understand the calendar year. We have way too much comic relief around here - thank goodness.

Acceptance with Joy said...

Oh my... I can so relate. My little stinker is all of 6 and not quite capable of coming up with all that, BUT she comes up with her OWN junk like: "can't find the brown crayon (while making a concerted effort to avoid picking up the BROWN crayon."

The Waggoners said...

oh my-thanks for the laughs! can so relate :-)