On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Wacky Words Wednesdays

HEY! I've not done Wacky Words Wednesdays[1]in a long time but in the last 15 hours, Sissy has provided me with lots of wacky word fodder.

It's really hard not to laugh. Sometimes I let a snicker slip but I am able to play it off like a cough or a throat clearing in the last second. She says the oddest things.

Yesterday as I pulled the van into the driveway, the girls were arguing about a squirrel they saw in our yard. As they clamored out of the van, the argument was escalating. Doors slamming, backpacks flinging, voices raising, the argument was about how big they supposed the squirrel to be.

WG used her hands to demonstrate the size. "Mom. It was this big"

Sissy, not wanting to be outdone, angrily protested WG's claim to size and, holding her hands just a millimeter's difference in width proudly claimed, "no. The squirrel was THIS big. It's been exercising!"

WG, undetected, rolled her eyes to her sister's absurdity.

And I bit my lip. Hard. Because wow. Seriously? The squirrel has an exercise program?

Later that afternoon, Sissy was angry that a verbal slight had been cast about her beloved Beta fish named Felix (yes, she named her FISH after the cartoon character, Felix the CAT - but that's not the punchline. Well, it is, but not in this story.) It boiled down to AB in his characteristic Asperger way, flat tone, matter of fact, calling of facts like he's the world renowned expert, he uncouthly explained to his sister that telling jokes to her fish was useless because after all, it's a fish and they can't hear, don't understand english and furthermore, do NOT have a sense of humor.

Again, I managed to stifle my laughter until Sissy in her boiling anger shouted, "He does TOO have a sense of humor!" and then she began telling the fish a slew of jokes as she read them from a book of riddles she borrowed from the library. And after each punchline she declared, "see, he's laughing! He's smiling! Can't you see it?! He does TOO have a sense of humor!"

at that point, my face was in the carpet to hide my giggles.

And the best part was this morning. I was in WG's bedroom helping her get dressed when Sissy called out from the bathroom, "MOM! I have a zit!!!" and I just rolled my eyes. We're reading a body book for girls and Tuesday night's chapter was about skin care and acne. She didn't have a zit when she went to bed, it was unlikely that she had one this morning. But having learned the hard way, I didn't respond. I just waited for the punchline, because it always comes.

About five seconds later, "Oh wait. No. It's just a glob of my toothpaste. Never mind."

So ... zits are blue?

I've said it a million times, it's NEVER dull at my house. The kids here have squirrels that run on treadmills, fish that are a cat's namesake and that love Letterman and blue zits, most likely owing to some strange zit-causing potion in the facial soap, compliments of Fred and George Weasly. Because that's more probable than a squirrel that climbs trees all day, a fish that is swimming fiercely in his bowl from starvation because my daughter has forgotten to feed it again and facial rashes from not having sufficiently washed the toothpaste off one's face.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's entry: what to say to moms of neurotypical kids that proclaim your RADish's behaviors are "normal"

[1] Wacky Words Wednesdays - In comedic fashion, relay some of the wacky things your RADish has said


GB's Mom said...

Looking forward to tomorrow! Hope your week is going well :)

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Still laughing. Thanks....