Conversations with Sissy

The following is not an exact transcript of tonight's call.  It's a conglomeration of the last several times I've talked to her both at the hospital and on the phone.  It's a fair representation so even though I've run three conversations into one, you still get the general idea.  And to be fair, since all the conversations go about the same way, this disclaimer is moot.

Phone call with Sissy tonight. 

"are you going to get fun Friday this week?"
"we don't have school friday. so it's fun thursday instead."
"so are you going to get THAT?"
"i plan too."
"Have you gotten all your classwork done?"
"I plan to."
"tomorrow is thursday."
"yes."
"so is the work done?"
"not yet but I plan to have it done."
"what's the outing going to be?"
"only the greens get to go."
"what's the outing?"
"I don't know. only the greens get to go."
"They don't tell you the outing on Monday?"
"yes."
"They tell you?"
"yes."
"So what's the outing?"
"only greens get to go. i don't know what they'll be doing."
"what level are you right now?"
"yellow."
"so you don't have your work done and you're not green?"
"yeah but I PLAN to!"
"and how's that plan working out for you?"
"It's not fair! we only had three days instead of four this week!!!!"
"But you knew all the work you had to do on Monday?"
"yes. but there's no school Friday. and they change my color without telling me why. I don't do anything wrong. They just change my color because they are lying on me."
"the staff is lying about your behavior?"
"no. well, yes. they say I tantrum but I only screamed at them for thirty minutes this time and then I did what they told me to do."
"you screamed at the staff?
"yes. but I calmed down after and I used a coping skill."
"but you screamed at the staff so that made you yellow."
"yes. but they always change my color without telling me why."
"what is the consequence if you scream at staff?"
"they change my color."
"so... are you going to be green tomorrow?"
"I PLAN to."
"but will you be green tomorrow?
"huh?"
"will your work be done, will you be green, will you get to do the fun thursday outing?"
"no. But I plan to!"

and this, my friends, is why I'm on medication! Abbott and Costello thought they were so clever.  Not so.  They've got nothing on Sissy but in the interest of amusing you, here's their best attempt to mimic my child.