On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Monday, December 6, 2010

My RAD does CRAZY THINGS Contest ending

Well, apparently i suck at making contests. No one has talked about the crazy things their RAD does.

Technically, deadline is tonight! Coasters will be ready to ship after voting. There is just one entry thus far, it is about my IRL friend's daughter.

Here's one about Sissy:
I'm not sure where the breakdown occurs in her mind but this whole bathrobe thing seems to have her befuddled.

Last week she emerged from the shower, dripping wet, wrapped in a towel CARRYING her bathrobe.

"uh, Sissy? Why aren't you WEARING your robe?"

"I didn't want it to get wet" was her reply.


"well, dear, that's what the robe is for."

"oh. I didn't know."

"Now you know."


Where does one go from there? What can you possibly say to your child after that? There isn't anything to be said. There is only *head desk*

We've had this conversation too.

"Sissy, why is your robe on your bedroom floor?"

"HUH?!? WHAT!?!? I DON'T KNOW!!!"

*holding onto the wall so I don't get blown over by her hollering* "Is there a better place for it?"

"i don't know"

"Let me try again. Should your robe be on the floor?"


"Where should your robe be?"

"On the hook?"

"It's a miracle! My daughter's mind has been revived!"

*glares of death*

"please put the robe on the hook, thank you."



"you know there's a hook but you don't know where it is?"


"Wow, that was the fastest journey your mind has ever had!"


"it was healed and revived and two seconds later went back to zombieland. Such a shame. Really, your mind is going to wear out all of God's miracles."

*more glares and grunting*

"Let's try this. Sissy. Pick your robe up off the floor and hang it on the hook behind the door before I count down from ten or it becomes MY new robe."

*stomps, huffs, completes task*

"Wow! Another miracle! I'm one lucky person to witness so many in my lifetime!"

OK, I'll extend the deadline until Tuesday night and then I think I'm hanging up the contest hat for awhile. I'm not very good at it.


Debora said...

You don't stink at creating contests, I.S.! We've just had a busy weekend and are living our girl's crazy things, that's all. :o) It's hard for me to think of just one thing, so I'll put on my thinking cap and see if I can pull something out. But that swimsuit episode--crazy!!

Cyndi said...

Last week our RAD kid was caught stealing ketchup from the school cafeteria, stirring it in her strawberry yogurt, and then eating the crazy mixture. The teacher who got to watch her was totally grossed out!

She does at least one crazy thing every single day so coming up with just one is difficult.

GB's Mom said...

It is not you. RAD kids do so many crazy things, it is really hard to separate just one episode. For, example, Hope brought home a new nail polish, purple, unopened. GB was melting down about math. While I dealt with GB, Hope was on the floor, 5ft away, looking through her book bag. When she turned around, one of her eyelids was painted purple. The first words out of her mouth? " My teacher said I couldn't go to school tomorrow unless I used her paint. " It is everyday!

kristina said...

Our RAD is no longer living with us due to the fact that he successfully charmed/RADished everyone until they thought we really were bad parents. But he used to do some of the craziest RAD stuff like one day I told him to put his dishes in the sink and instead he chose to stand IN front of the sink holding his sticky plate screaming that he didn't know where it went. I chose to be an awesome parent and put those nice sticky dishes in a plastic bag and let him go to church holding the bag. And I have never commented but I do enjoy reading your blog very much.

2busyannie said...

I agree with Cyndi; my RADishes do something crazy every single day so picking one is hard. Plus I think I have become desensitized to crazy. And the really crazy ones I remember break the rules of your contest.

But here is one that happened when I had a visiting RAD: Not sure what she was thinking, but apparently didn't want to get "caught" having her period at my house. So instead of throwing her used napkins in the trashcan she placed them in ziploc baggies and then threw them behind various pieces of furniture. The moving men uncovered these gems a few months later. Eww, Eww, Eww!

Debora said...

OK, I have thought a while. Our daughters, adopted from Ukraine in 2009 at 14, are now 15 (they were best friends in one of their orphanage placements). Our eldest has not been diagnosed with RAD, but we see a lot of similarities to RAD in her behaviors, though she seems to be doing much better than she was at first. We notice that she is slipping into one of her episodes or into a rage when she starts to mumble in Russian (not so often anymore, thank the Lord!) or sing in Russian. And she can become the crazy roof monkey, too.

One Saturday night, we put the girls to bed and went downstairs for a late dinner. Pretty soon, we heard someone going into our bedroom. (I don't think I need to explain that the girls aren't supposed to get up after we put them to bed and that they aren't supposed to go into our bedroom without permission...) We went upstairs to check on them, and they were hiding in our closet. When my DH shooed them out, they said, "We wanted to surprise you!" and acted hurt and defiant. Thing is, we wouldn't have gone up there for another few hours!

So the girls both became a bit belligerent, maintaining that they had done nothing wrong. Eldest started into her manic phase, laughing a strange laugh when she saw me outside her bedroom and closing the door behind her. She soon morphed into crazy roof monkey.

Long ago, she had ruined the screen on the bedroom window by removing it and putting it back one too many times, so all she had to do was open the window and crawl out. She's been told not to go on the roof, of course, but such is her need to disobey that she does it anyway. She peers into the upper window, stomps around, goes to the back of the house (which is three huge stories from the ground!) and back again, making her presence very known, before being calm enough to come back inside.

It doesn't seem to matter how cold it is outside or who might happen to see her. She just is our crazy roof monkey.

Jackie said...

My Russian Rad teen was caught (second hand) with another, yes, another stolen IPodTouch. When I demanded he bring it in, of course he refused, each story about it more creative than the one before. I gave him the ultimatum to either bring it in and tell us who the "friend was that loaned it to him" so we could follow up (last story and the one he's sticking to) or I was calling his counselor at school tomorrow to report that he had a touch that did not belong to him that she might want to check into. He went off about having a snitch for a parent and he couldn't believe any parent would snitch on their own kid and that he would rather die out in his tree fort in the cold than live with a snitch for a parent. This "discussion" followed him coming in very solemnly telling his dad that he had a problem. He got a can of soda from somewhere last night, drank some of it and put it in his tree fort. He went up this morning before school (most likely to catch a smoke) and drank the soda. The can felt heavy so he cut it open with a pocket knife and found a baby mouse in the bottom. He spent the whole day at school scared to death, waiting to die. This Rad mom feels a tad bit guilty taking such delight (only because I know he's ok)in this little mishap.

The Waggoners said...

didn't enter 'cause I haven't had time to read any blogs :-( in part do to my little raddling....so I will pick a crazy story from today. Has to do with practicing spelling words. I could tell she was going to play the 'dumb game' (what we chosen to call 'crazy' behavior) so I said I am going to pick only 4 of your 10 words and when you get these correct you can go play with your siblings. We practiced saying them, talking about how to use them, explaining all the letter sounds, writing them, defining them....totally breaking down each word and truly learning the word/letters...onto the 'quiz' portion...I say 'chase' for her to spell-she says 'chaste'-I repeat 'chase'-she says 'chast'-I repeat 'chase'-she says 'I don't know what that means, that's not one of my words' I want to scream REALLY?!?! it is one of the four words we have been talking about the last hour and you have defined it, spelled it, used it in a sentence......and now you are telling me you don't know what it means/how to say it/spell it/etc.Oh the joys of mothering 'crazy' day in and day out.....how many more days till orlando?!?!

Acceptance with Joy said...

She's only 6... and delayed, but it appears she thinks I'm really stupid.

She found a candycane today. I said she could have it... and give a piece to her twin. She was a very happy little munchkin. Then Big sister found a candy cane an hour later and the world came to a crashing halt because said 6 year old wanted that one, too.

Sorry. This one is for Christina. You had one already.

And suddenly she told me this grand story about her how her friend GRACE has all kinds of candy canes on her Christmas tree... and implied that Grace is allowed to eat freely...

Manipulation is not new, lying is not new, but pulling a story out of thin air to further her purpose is a wow moment for this child with language issues.

By the way, she has does not know if Grace really has a CHristmas tree or not, therefore how could she know about the candy canes?

I happen to know Gracies mom strictly restricts sugar ...

Sometimes I wish I understood why these kids say such crazy stuff. Does she really think I'm that stupid? Is she trying to show me she's stupid? What's the deal???????
Why the nonsense?

sweethoneydoo said...

you don't stink at contest. i just don't have kids

Robin said...

I love your blog, but my son only had attachment issues, so I don't have RAD behaviors to tell you about. Thanks for trying and have a Merry Christmas!

Lisa said...

Here's one of a thousand crazy ones - my 17 yo darling had a friend over recently ("friend" in the sense that this girl is exactly like her and the friends mom and I got them together specifically because we knew they'd be bff's and we could get breaks from them if we alternated houses). My dd was mad at me about something (it's always something) and went upstairs to complain about me to this new friend. My younger dd came up and said, "Jessica is telling Lyn that you and her mom are exactly the same, always making up stories and exaggerting to get them into trouble". I asked Jessica (dd17) about this and she cried pitifully that she would NEVER say such a thing and to just ask Lyn if I didn't believe her. I turned, looked at Lyn, and said, "well Lyn - did she say those things?". Lyn looks at the floor and says, "Yes, and she also said she hates you and you're not really her mother". I looked at Jessica and she yells, 'Well, I never said, I didn't say those other things!!" I said, "how in the world would those other two things be any better than the first two?" and her response was, "oh, if you knew Lyn's mom better you'd know what an insult the first two things are". Huh? Talking in circles seems to be her favorite way of making me crazy. She still maintains that she DID NOT say those things about me - why in the world would she? It's so hard to remain calm during the craziness, but my dd is so predictable in her methods. She literally goes from one maddening behavior (if she gets NO reaction from me) and on to the next. If I manage to maintain control, she can rage and sob for hours and hours. What an incredible waste of time and LIFE.

Brandy-new rad mom said...

Wow I have so many I don't know where to start. Lets shoot for this week's events:

I am at work and receive a call from the cafeteria (I despise my RAD's school). The cafeteria manager says, "Umm what mother sends her sone to school with $40.00 to buy ice cream?" I replied, "A mother that did not know her very challenging child stole from her purse again. What sort of school worker sells $40.00 worth of icecream to a child that has a record 5 miles long and it not supposed to be unattended anywhere in the school?" The cafeteria worker went silent. I continued with, "look I am not trying to be mean to you but seriously I am tired of this #1 I have a difficult child which your school seems to think has a 'made up illness', #2 who taught you how to speak on the phone? #3 My kid really does have a rap sheet 5 miles long #4 Haven't we already discussed what he can and cannot have 27 times this year alone? #5 why on earth would you let any child 8 years old buy that much ice cream #6 do you have children? "

The line went dead. I think she hung up on me.

Ok earlier in the week:
How about my son got I.S.S. for calling his teacher a "fat a$$" Really? Where did he learn that colorful language? When I asked him why he said that his response was "well she has gained weight!"

This one is classic!
Refuses to do any chores. Literally wont budge. Family is playing and having fun but my Radish has to finish his chores. He had to sweep. Not a large area but a decent sized room. Lets not go into to why he had to sweep but I am sure you know it had NOTHING to do with him dumping sand "for fun". I gave him the brrom and asked him to sweep the area like mommy would. Meaning dont push it in a corner like RAD does. He fell out on the floor and started flopping around. He forgot how to use a broom. He goes into a tirade about how the broom is laughing at him and making his life difficult. Really? Should have recorded that one. It was pretty funny to watch.

Ok there is my comments :)

Angela :-) said...

I'll try to get a blog post up later & link it here. There's a picture to go with mine. I actually thought about this contest since you first mentioned it, but, as someone else said, it just seems like one crazy thing after another, it's hard to separate them. And, I think I'm conditioned to it. What might seem crazy to someone else doesn't even faze me.

Angela :-)

marythemom said...

Just wanted you to know that I got the coasters and they are REALLY cute. Wrapped so nicely in the pretty bow that I hate to take them out! THANK YOU!!

I don't feel right participating in this contest since I won the last one, and there's so much my two RADishes do that makes me crazy but a lot of it violates the rules... but I do want to share a crazy visual of my RAD daughter who likes to run and hide. There's the time she hid in the dog crate and refused to come out when we finally found her; the time she climbed in the big barrel we used for storing big foam blocks in and fell asleep. Took us several hours to find her that time (she actually looked cute and peaceful in there). Couldn't tell you how many times she's wrapped up in her blankets like a cocoon (the only way she'll sleep) and fallen asleep somewhere in the house and we couldn't find her. The time she locked herself in the bathroom... no wait can't use that one she ended up in a psych hospital. The time she got among the car seat boxes in Wal-Mart screaming and refusing to come out while her (also RAD) brother irritated and teased her so she couldn't calm down enough to hear me so I could talk her out. I FINALLY got him to walk away, and eventually calmed her down and out.

One of my favorites, the time she ran out of the house (making sure I was following), and ran down the street (slowly since I wasn't running after her, just walking), and when I finally caught up she was sitting on the curb at the end of our block (she wasn't supposed to cross the street- and was actually calm enough to make the choice not to! yea!). She made lots of threats, but I refused to rise to the bait. She threatened to lay down in the street and get run over by a car. I told her I wouldn't stop her. That confused her. She did lay down in our, very quiet neighborhood, street, and I just stood and watched, which frustrated her to no end. Eventually a car pulled onto the street and I calmly stepped into the road and stood where the car would have to stop long before it could hit her, and she got frustrated (because I wouldn't let her get run over) and got up and walked home. This type of stuff happened almost daily for awhile, but luckily she's healed a lot since then.

Mary in TX

Acceptance with Joy said...

Just so you know, my dear little Missy has not been diagnosed with anything other than developmental delays, but the stories here sound like her in many ways.

Yesterday she was mad because I was taking her for a walk. She doesn't like walking in winter boots, so she deliberately ran out into the traffic just to get a reaction.

Heather said...

When I saw the contest, I couldn't think of a story immediately. Which was the cue for something to happen. I know I'm probably too late, but I'll throw in my story, just because it amused me so.

On Saturday morning, our son was in the basement watching cartoons, and I sent my RADish daughter down to join him when she woke up. He came up shortly to announce she came down with two purloined Starburst and offered him one, which he refused.

When I came down to confront her, she toyed with denial, but admitted she had "thrown them away" uneaten. We had the "don't steal or I can't trust you" conversation for the Nth time. (She insisted she took them because she was hungry. Yep, everyone knows how *filling* Starburst are - just a couple and I'm stuffed!)

When we were done, I asked her to tell me which garbage can she'd thrown them in (I knew she'd eat them as soon as I was out of the room if I didn't claim them), and she pointed to the spot behind the couch where the garbage can *used* to be.... until I moved it a week ago when the in-laws were coming. I said that wasn't possible because there wasn't a can there, which she insisted "was too!" I asked her to show me, so she jumped up and pointed to it, then realized it was missing. Cue the yelling, insisting it was too there, and "put it back, now!" Because (of course!) I had managed, in the time between when she had thrown them away and when I asked to see them, to sneak in front of her and hide the can without her noticing. "You moved it just to make me mad!" Which is of course what I was thinking when I relocated it a week ago to hide the icky can from the in-laws.

Sigh...after much yelling (from her) and hugging (from me), she admitted she had tucked the empty wrappers under the couch, under her bum. Which she could have told me in the first place.