Just picked up AB from school, not 30 minutes after the first morning bell. I had no idea he wasn't feeling well, he gave me no indication, no verbal warning, no fever, no green coloring, nothing. And yet he had diarrhea and vomiting. Poor baby!
Sissy on the other hand, complained about a sour tummy two minutes after inhaling her cereal. Literally siphoned it down like she was starving and then "mom, I don't feel good." And of course, the RAD mommy radar goes off. right. you have a math test today. you just inhaled your food. you're fine kid So I gave her some tums and sent her off.
Now I'm wondering, did I make the right choice?
And this is the insanity that goes through my mind every day. 90% of Sissy's physical complaints are invalid, RADsing behaviors. If I err only 10% of the time because I always assume it's a manipulation than I'm still getting an A as a parent, right? *nod your head so I don't feel like such a schmuck, please*
The thing is, with Sissy, I can't ever tell. I remember once she had a fever of 103 before I believed that she wasn't well because I'd been snowed so many, many times before. (ugh - don't even get me started on the time I actually took her to THE DOCTOR and she was FINE. FINE!!!! AUGH!!! still makes me mad that she could be THAT convincing in her ruse.) But when she complains about her tummy being sour and her brother comes home with a stomach flu, I second guess my cynicism ... but only for 2 seconds.
The natural consequence for lying and manipulating so many times to your parents about being ill is you get to go to school being ill once in awhile. And maybe even embarrassed by yakking in front of your peers. After all, I sent AB off having no clue he was sick and he's not angry at me for my faux pas. Why then does it make me all bothered that I may have done the same for Sissy? Because she actually said she wasn't well and I didn't believe her. And why should I when just last Tuesday she screamed she would kill herself just because she knew such a comment would get her dad and me out of bed?
You see? It's RADs because she lies so much I can't believe her when she really is sick (or suicidal for that matter!) It takes vomiting in the school halls for me to be convinced. If we took data on our RAD kids, we'd probably find that there is a greater incidence of school hallway vomiting amongst RAD kids than nonRADishes and the statistical data could be written to indicate that this phenomenon is a RAD thing. It really isn't a RADs issue, except it is because RAD moms frequently send sick kids to school because we have to call their bluff all the time.
Here's another example of something that isn't clinically a RADs issue, except it is.
OMG. Sissy is so disgustingly filthy! Pigpen from Peanuts has nothing on this child. She would live in squalor and think nothing of it, wouldn't even recognize that she was a stinking, disgusting mess. Would probably deny it and blame someone else for the roaches, lice, odor and piles of garbage. Has indeed done such a thing before. (In fact, off point, yesterday morning she blamed a rogue deodorant thief for snatching it. Said to her, "Sissy, who steals deodorant?!? You haven't even looked for it!!!" It was in her hygiene bin exactly where it should have been. She just didn't want to stick her hand in the bin to grasp it. *shaking head*)
Last year she got a brand new, beautiful jacket from her grandmother for Christmas. It looked so pretty on her, it was puffy, it was soft, it screamed "SISSY!" By March it had to be thrown away because it was THAT disgusting. Scrubbing it, washing it multiple times, presoaking it in half a bottle of stain remover ... nothing worked. It was ruined. RUINED!!! HOW does someone ruin a brand new coat that quickly with so much filth, grime and stench? I just don't understand it. It boggles my mind.
This morning, 23'F outside, Sissy was putting on her new coat that I gave her two weeks ago. Unzipped she was headed for the front door. "Sissy. Stop. Zip." *grunting, whining, etc.* As she stood there I got a good look at that coat and was appalled. It is disgusting already. I was so taken aback I couldn't even speak. How. HOW!?! What the heck does she do? HOW does she do it? WHEN does she make it so filthy?!?! I just don't understand. I've had my jacket for more than a year and it still looks brand new. AB's new coat looks new. WG's used coat is in better repair. I don't get it. I just don't get it!!!
Being disgustingly dirty without care isn't really a RADs thing, except it is. I can't count how many times I've picked Sissy up from school and she's had food all over her face, chin, in her hair, all down her shirt, on her sleeves - ruined shirts that had to be thrown in the trash rather than attempting to wash them. I wonder sometimes if people look at my daughter and think she is mentally retarded by her appearance and then I say to myself, mentally retarded children are better cared for than this!!! Even THEY don't look this disgusting!!! Told Sissy last night, "My dear, tonight you must make sure you wash ALL parts of your body with SOAP. Do you know why I'm saying this?"
OK. If the kid KNOWS she stinks, what is going on here?!? God in heaven help me, she hasn't even started her period yet. Lord, that is going to be hellish.
These aren't technically RADs things, except they are. What are your nonRAD behaviors that are dead ringers for RAD behaviors? Tell me your RAD kid is a stinking, filthy mess too so I don't feel so bad. Tell me all of your my-kid-was-in-the-ER-with-a-double-ear-infection-and-strept-before-I-believed-him stories too. Tell me something because today it's all making me a little lulu in the brain.