After two weeks of rage and wobbly moods, Sissy's pdoc upped her Intuniv to the full load, 4 mg. Shut her down. Then...she woke up Saturday night, talking to herself.
Let me restate. She screamed, "OH NO!" and then explained to The Dad, who was quite concerned, that when she said "hello" to the people she was talking to, her voice sounded wobbly.
Yes. She was trying to talk to people. People that weren't there. People "in her head" as she said. And her voice sounded different to her when she spoke.
The Dad said her facial expressions as she explained all of this, were odd. Odd in an alarming way.
Now I know that Sissy has a 15 day cycle but her anti-psychotic has really dampened it so I'd lost track. After the last two weeks of nonsense, i assumed it was one of her cycles but this delusional nonsense? Not so much.
Reading through old posts, I turned up the one in March in which Sissy crashed after a particularly harrowing rage cycle. In her crash, she had some delusional stuff.
The pattern emerges.
See, this is all good.
Let me restate. Because it's not "good" that my child's mental health needs are so severe that at this point I tack on "RADs" as an afterthought which ellicits the complimentary moans and groans of empathy from my listeners. (I like the empathy, BTW, so keep the complimentary moans and groan coming! lol) However, it's good that I blog it, it's good that I keep a record, it's good that I'm tuned in, it's good that i'm advocating, it's good that I can tell her pdoc what is happening so we can work together toward helping Sissy achieve whatever balance of "normal" she'll be capable of as an adult.
When I want to bury my head in the sand, drink my sorrows away and move to New Zealand without saying another word, it's good to have a baseline and an anchor to my life. Seeing an emerging pattern in Sissy's issues, as odd and disconcerting as they may seem, is one such anchor I'm glad to weigh so we can move forward in her treatment.
And this just in (AB's doc called mid post) We're diagnosing him with a "mood disorder" (DUH - this will eventually morph into a bipolar Dx) and adding another anti depressant to his mix with the knowledge that it will probably not work (and cross our fingers, not cause the seizure activity it did for Sissy last spring adn summer) and he'll end up on the anti-psychotic sometime within the next six months.
I've said it a million times, by the time Sissy and AB make it to adulthood, they're going to be on the same meds and save me the trouble of having two different med bins! Hey, you've got to find the silver lining to every cloud, right?