On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Sunday, June 27, 2010

A new week dawns

Sissy has rebounded, it took her a whole week. I'll admit it made me a little nervous because typically, after a crash that follows a long rage cycle, she bounces back in three days. With the delusional episode last Saturday, Sissy's crash lasted six days. And we woke up this morning to her peeing on the floor in her space.

Ah, normalcy.

The Dad said it best It's so hard to enjoy her days of peace because the whole time you're waiting for the other hammer to come down And when it doesn't come down when I'm expecting it to, it scares the crap out of me! lol

So tomorrow we rise early and start our week off right - with a visit to the pdoc. I've tried to get Sissy to talk about the voices in her head but she has shut me down at every turn. I told her I wanted to talk about it before her appointment because I WOULD be telling her doctor so he could help her. More tears. Such hard stuff for both of us, let me tell you. And we also get to address the night time wakefulness, the step-down in IFI services, the withholding that she will NOT let up on despite the Miralax and volume of fruits and veggies, the supervised toileting and showering and the rages which included two interventions, three phone calls and one other incident all in the span of two weeks. He's probably going to suggest a med adjustment *roll eyes*.

This just in, The Dad and I have finally put a finger on the nighttime waking - she's waking because she has to pee. Of course, it took a urine soaked floor this morning to sort it all out but hey, as long as we're on the road to somewhere, right?

Also up for this week -saying goodbye to two of our IFI team members and meeting two new members (really, you can't convince insurance that RAD kids can't do lots of hellos and goodbyes no matter how hard you try.)

It's always just one long week rolling into the next. In my head I escape it all and sit on a beach for a week, no one needing me, no rages, no meds, no appointments. Just unlimited drinks, reggae music, coconut scented sunscreen, waves, vitamin D from the sun, seagulls and sky. Then I'll pack up my rested body and drive to a new house that is four times bigger than the one I currently live in and it will be somewhere in the country but the kids waiver will still allow them to go to the school here. My hubby will have a truck with AC and unlimited residential clients with jobs that start at $800 so he can hire employees to work for him. The weather will have cooled off, the kids' backyard pool will have righted itself, the pine trees will be replaced with palms complete with a hammock, my tomatoes will be ripe along with the South Carolina peaches and I won't have anything to do but quilt all day.

I've been watching too much TV. Real life doesn't work that way. Maybe I'll just take the kids to the lake tomorrow after the pdoc appointment. I can pretend it's the ocean.

tunes I'm currently listening to
Peace out.

1 comment:

Elizabeth-Anne said...

LOL! Sorry you had to face the pee to find one of your answers, but so glad you learned the lesson (better learnt with pee than unlearnt with the pee still there). Also, just my one note from my extreme happiness with limited space--if you have that big house, you have to clean it (or put up with someone else who cleans it probably not to your standards).

Praying!