On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Monday, May 9, 2011

This and That

A busy weekend for us before Sissy went to RTC usually meant Sissy being sent to bed early Friday night for incessant stick-poking and provoking behaviors, raging all day on Saturday or being on a six hour standoff because it was chore day, crashing and burning on Sunday and then cranking it up again Sunday night for the upcoming school week. This pattern prevented us from doing anything. We'd have plans, we'd have the if-you're-good-we'll-do-such-and-such plans. We'd intend to go to church. We'd pine about fishing, hitting up a walking trail or taking bikes to the park. We'd attempt to get the house tidy. It meant that Sissy would be on lock-down while I took WG to dance lessons and sometimes, took AB with me so he didn't have to listen to her raging for two hours.

We'd do it all with Sissy primal rage screaming.

There are so many things I don't miss.

Every morning I don't miss having to mash the key fob disarm button on the motion sensor. Every morning I don't miss waking up to the dread, the oh crap, she's still my daughter and am still responsible for her well being feeling after the four hour rage fests from the night before. Every night I don't miss the bedtime rage fests. WG and AB put themselves to bed. Imagine that. IMAGINE THAT!!!!

How do weekends without Sissy go?

Last week I was all over on Saturday. WG had dance and AB had hippotherapy and then he and I hit up the library. Sunday was my Daisy troop end-of-year picnic. I had the privilege of spinning and turning WG so she could look in the water and see herself, a brownie now! She was so excited.

This weekend we took the troop to the Aquarium as a reward for their hard work selling cookies and then yesterday morning WG and I were at the church bright and early so she could sing with cantate singers in both services for mother's day.

AB got a new camera and has taken over a hundred photos looking for ghosts and The Dad and he saw a movie.

Sunday night is our call-sissy night. The Dad obliged to dial the number as it was Mother's Day and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew she hadn't remembered and besides, I'd had a lovely day with the functional four of us. He put her on speaker phone.

"Hi Sissy."

"Hi Dad."

"How are you?"


"Do you know what day this is?"

long pause ... "Um, oh yeah. Sunday."

"And..." he attempted to lead her.

"Oh right. Mother's day."

"I was calling to see if you'd like to wish your mom happy Mother's day."

"Oh yeah. OK."

In stark contrast to last week's depressive funk, this week she was high as a kite, speed talking about how wonderful she's been and blah blah blah.

*big huge exasperated sigh*

That's how my weekend almost ended.

As AB and WG were getting ready for bed, WG teased AB about something and he cracked a smile and slight chuckle. (HUGE!!!) So I said, "AB, are you gonna stand for that? I think that deserves a tickle. Here, I'll hold her still for you." I grabbed WG who squealed in delight while AB tickled and laughed.

That, my friends, is amazing. Absolutely amazing. WHEN does that happen in my house? Never. Happy mother's day to me!

As I told The Dad last night when we went to bed, "It was a lovely mother's day. I'm so glad to finally have a happy family. I don't know how to change it but I just can't go back to hell with Sissy."

AB had a busy week with doctors, still trying to figure out if he's growing too fast. We upped his resperidal to help with the mood and took an x-ray of his left hand to get a look at his long bone growth. His blood work from last month came back showing the need to watch for a slowing thyroid and an increasing blood sugar. Yay, more things to think about for AB: hypothyroidism and diabetes. Hey, at least he hasn't had any seizures which the doctors have all said is a possibility. This week AB gets his new AFO's. HOORAY! I'll be sure to get pictures.

WG is officially in the gifted program for school next year, I signed the permission slip this past week. She'd had some wobbly moods, impulsiveness and behaviors at school again so we opted to put her on melatonin too. I am happy to report that sleep deprivation appears to be all she was suffering from. Heck, weren't we all? Sissy's behaviors have run all four of us into the ground. I'm not kidding, with only one NT, I am always on high-alert looking for the possibility that she will end up with mental health concerns too. I'm glad it's only a sleep issue. Next up for her is the dance recital. I can't wait!!!!

The Dad is working, working, working. Which is good but he's tired. At least he comes home to a happy house and not diving head long into diffusing Sissy or safe guarding AB and WG while I diffuse Sissy.

As for me, I still haven't heard about the job but it's only been a week. In the meantime, i'm doing some brainstorming and planning for the new FFCMH chapter I've started in my community. And of course, I'm quilting. DUH. Here's photo proof. And a many, many HUGE thanks to Mamadrama who sent me a fabric stash including some yardage of of the perfect fabric for the backing! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!  This is a scrappy quilt idea taken from Bonnie Hunter.  The blocks are 5 inches finished with half inch sashing.

panel on top of the backing

close up of some of the blocks

laying out the sandwich!

it's done and hanging

close up of the backing and machine quilting


Last Mom said...

Glad you had a Happy Mother's Day! You, your husband, WG and AB deserve some peace and normalcy.

Ranger said...

LOVE the quilt, the pinks mauves and greens together are lovely! Very spring colours.

Hugs, doing so much for a child with RAD really, really shouldn't have to turn into a life sentence for a family.

kisekileia said...

Beautiful quilt, and beautiful sunset background on the blog!

kisekileia said...

Also, hypothyroidism is SUPER easy to treat. One tiny, inexpensive pill every day, taken on an empty stomach, and periodic blood tests to make sure the dose is still right. That's all. :)