On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.
~J. Skrobisz

Thursday, November 28, 2013

All Warmed Up

It rained for two days.  Long, hard rain that chilled me to the bone.  I hate when I catch a chill like that, it's so hard to shake it.  But I have lots to warm me up lately so it's all good.

This week I'm helping out my friends who have nine horses between them.  I'm sharing the responsibility for eight.  Watering, feeding, blanketing, etc.  Horses have been one of the saving graces in my life the last two years of recovery.  That and the horsey friends I've made in the process.  I am so blessed.  Giant four legged creatures with long manes and tails and whinny and hoof stomping when they are hungry, nose nudges and neck snuggles and warm, musky smelling coats of horsey goodness make me happy and warms me up when I'm feeling lonely or scared.  I feel full when I get to take care of them because I like hard work, being useful and accomplishing things even if it is simply to muck stalls.

Other blessings that have warmed me up:
1.  My fully mustached son
2.  Sissy home for the holidays AGAIN (second holiday season without hospitalization)
3.  WG's energy (i'd be a wealthy woman if I could bottle and sell it)
4.  My two dogs, Grace the lab and Roscoe the chihuahau
5.  My family - so grateful for open adoption and extended family and reconnecting with the kids' first mom and her family
6.  music - I'm singing again!
7.  my home - and it IS mine now.  it softly speaks "this is a woman's space"
8.  my van - still a reliable vehicle
9.  my jobs - teaching is such a joy and now I'm also certified to provide respite for adults with special needs - no end to the laughter
10. my health - no panic attacks in a very.long.time. and I'm finally losing weight.  Happiness.  It does a lot for a body!
11.  my smile.  I'm happy.  so very happy. FINALLY. happy

There is so much more.  OH SO MUCH MORE!!! but that's all I feel able to talk about today, on this Thanksgiving day that I am spending with just me and my kids. And honestly?  I like that.  A lot.

1 comment:

Last Mom said...

Love you! Love that happy is spilling out of you!